Bad Puns

If I had won a holiday to somewhere lovely, Alpaca my bags now!

Axe the question

So, you come across this lovely Fireman, and he is looking very happy.

"Why?" you ask yourself, "Is he so cheery? surely he fights fire and rescues ferocious kittens from the boughs of tall trees and all those kinds of harrowing fire related and car crash type situations?!"

He smiles a knowing and serene smile, as if he can read your very thoughts on the matter.

"Yes, it is a dangerous job, but I have two Axes! I was only meant to have one!"

"Count 'em! One! Two!"

"It is dangerous to wave axes around though.. Don't try this at home!"

(When I opened up the packet, he had the two axes instead of one. I took this to be a sign)